25 Things That Can Wait Until the Coronavirus Lockdown Is Over

We're all bombarded these days with stories that tell us what we should be doing while we're in a coronavirus lockdown. You haven't knitted all your family members an afghan yet? When will you binge all three seasons of "Ozark"? Don't you care that your roots are showing? And what, you haven't even gotten a sourdough starter going yet? What is wrong with your social-distancing self? In the interest of thumbing our nose at the implication that any of us must be doing, well, anything during these long lockdown days, we've put together a list of things we don't think anyone should be giving a second thought to right now. We hope you read it, and then we hope you stare at the nearest wall for at least 10 minutes.

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You don't need to visit your stylist or barber. You don't need to buy a Flowbee. You don't need to ask your significant other for a trim. Unless you're hunkered down with someone who's a trained professional or were lucky enough to be sporting the bald look as the pandemic descended upon us, just invest in a few hats, scarves, or scrunchies, and/or learn to avoid mirrors. (Though, if you insist on trying, be sure to check out our tips for cutting long hair and short hair.)

Yes, maybe you finally have some time to tinker with that new guitar or pound on the keys of a piano that has long gathered dust. But unless you're flying solo in a home where sound won't travel far, consider holding off. The last thing your housemates or neighbors want to hear right now is your take on "Bohemian Rhapsody" or an epic drum solo.

If you weren't Mr. or Ms. Fix-It before the pandemic, trust us — you're not him or her now, either. If you and your family like hot water, pipes that don't make weird noises, keeping all potential floods on the outside of your house, and a home that doesn't smell like there's a herd of livestock living nearby, maybe just go ahead and call the plumber. They still are — and always have been — essential workers.

Related: DIY Disasters: 20 Repairs to Leave to the Pros

With roughly 500,000 ladder-related injuries occurring every year, many requiring a hospital visit, the better part of valor would suggest leaving the leaves lying for now and waiting for warmer days and better conditions — or better yet, wait until businesses reopen and call a pro to take the risk out of the equation altogether.

We get it. There's a new season of "Top Chef," and you want to mise en place with the best of them. Just ... don't. If you don't already have experience with ultra-sharp kitchen knives or that most sinister of culinary tools, the mandoline (shudder), for the sake of all that is holy, as well as keeping your fingers in one piece, do not try to master them now.

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When it comes to gourmet desserts, some things are better left to the pros — like putting ice cream on top of a sponge cake, topping it with meringue, and then setting the entire concoction on fire. Better to keep things simple, manageable, and stress-free with no-fail classics like chocolate chip cookies or decadent brownies, that can be taken to the next level without burning down the house.

Related: Twinkies, Moon Pies, and Other Guilty Pleasures You Can Make at Home

Although we can't leave our homes right now, many of us are still reporting to work each day. While we may have a bit of extra time on our hands, given the now non-existent commute and curtailed social plans, most of us haven't magically freed up dozens of hours to devote to language lessons. Given that, realistically, true fluency takes a minimum of well over 500 hours — and that's for native English speakers tackling languages with similar structures — there's no reason to add this to the long list of self-enrichment projects to tackle right this moment. Besides, it's not like you'll be traveling anywhere to show off those new linguistic skills any time soon!

It's going to be — and should be, according to experts — a long time before you can shake someone's hand again. The same goes for hugging (much to the relief of anti-huggers everywhere). Even bro hugs have gone by the wayside. So, yes, for the foreseeable future, you're going to have to be okay with elbow bumps, head nods, waves, saying "What's up?" and other ways of greeting that have also been around forever and are literally are no less acceptable than a handshake.

Yes, yes, experts on remote work will tell you that having a routine is one of the best things you can do to be productive. That said, the people who say such things probably weren't also trying to keep rookie homeschooling kids on track, manage spotty Wi-Fi, or get a daily dose of Vitamin D or warrior posing just to stay sane. Besides, who even knows what day it is anymore?

Those same folks who tell you to keep a schedule while at home will also tell you that you should get up, shower every day, and put on the same clothes you'd wear to the office. Those people are probably not a lot of fun at parties. Ignore them and wear your sweatpants with gusto and pride.

That nephew you never really liked is getting married or graduating high school. It's such a shame you won't be able to attend the special event. Not! Late spring and summer are full of occasions that we might want to avoid, and this year we can. Send a check, and be grateful for small favors.

Maybe you're just not a big believer after all, or things just haven't been the same since the arrival of the new priest or minister. Whatever the reason, you've got a free pass to sleep in on Sundays now. Thank you, Lord!

Arlo Guthrie once made a New Year's resolution list on which he wrote "eat good" and "drink very scant if any." Arlo Guthrie wasn't living in lockdown during a pandemic. We're not suggesting you go out and buy every bag of Doritos in the grocery store or cases and cases of wine, but if you didn't have reason to worry about your habits before you knew the term COVID-19, cut yourself some slack. It's okay to indulge a little. Even the experts say so.

Until recently, Americans spent about 70 billion hours driving during the course of the year, with the average motorist clocking about 220 miles each week. Since the arrival of the coronavirus and subsequent stay-at-home orders, traffic has dwindled and cars have remained parked, which means less wear and tear on vehicles and less need for oil changes. If you do have extra time during this period of lockdown, learning to change your own oil would be a money saver going forward.

Related: 11 Things to Do to Maintain Your Car While You're Not Driving It

That pricey new kitchen remodel you've been wanting to impress your friends with, or perhaps the new patio doors you were planning to install to dazzle the neighbors? All the non-essential, vanity projects you were planning for the house can and should be put off until the economy is on more stable ground.

Silence is golden, but connection is critical — now more than ever. By all means take a quiet moment every day to breathe deeply and appreciate the simple favors and affections that others extend, and contemplate how to pay the same forward or return it in kind. But don't shut people out when a kind word or two is the only substitute for a handshake or hug. Let the people who matter know it and save the vow of silence for a time when the clamor of everyday life returns in full force.

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With social distancing and stay-at-home rules in effect, getting a professional mani-pedi is currently out of step with reality and basically impossible. An upside is: By taking care of your own nails and toes, you'll save a good chunk of change. You may not feel pampered, but if you go DIY, you won't be out the average $23 for a manicure and $35 for a pedicure. And nobody's really looking at your toes these days anyway.

Those regular maintenance visits to the med-spa to get Botox injections that banish wrinkles and lines can and will have to wait. For the time being, the world will have to see you as you really are, crows feet, frown lines, and all.

While we're on the subject of mani-pedis, botox, and haircuts, let's go ahead and lump the rest of it in there, too. Forget facials. Lash extensions are extinct. Blowouts are from a bygone era. Even makeup has taken a walk down memory lane for most of us. Take this opportunity to not have to put on our face for the world or even comb your hair some days and try to enjoy your natural self. Unless there's a Zoom call — for those, you better at least throw on some lip gloss and a hat.

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We get it, we get it: You are absolutely desperate to get the kids outdoors to burn off some energy. But trampolines may not be the best way to get them moving. Injury rates are so high that the American Academy of Pediatrics actively discourages their use, and a pandemic probably isn't the best time for a trip to the emergency room. (Believe it or not, owning a trampoline can also raise your home insurance rates.)

No one wants their kids binging on computer games or the Xbox 24/7, but if you're a working parent — or even just one who's trying to maintain your sanity right now — it's probably not the best time to over-worry about how much time your kids are spending online or gaming. Chill, pour a glass of something that sparks joy and watch them play their games while telling you all about what level their monster hunter is. You'll be surprised how much joy that sparks for them.

Time and Vanity Fair have both written articles about how the coronavirus crisis could change dating forever. Um, good? There is perhaps no other life activity that one person can equally dread and anticipate. Will Josh from Hinge be a creep? Will Katy from Tinder eat with her mouth open? Will either be the one to fill the gaping hole in your emotional quarry? Maybe it's okay right now not to have another reason for anxiety in your life. Take the time to learn to be okay with being alone — which will make you a much better potential partner on the other side of this.

If your dreams are starting to look like something out of a William Burroughs novel, just know that pandemic dreaming is a thing, and a thing you probably don't want to overthink. You can't go to the movies right now, so maybe just try to enjoy the entertainment without the price tag while it lasts?

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We're not allowed to hang out with friends or take long luxurious walks through public places. Heck, some of us still can't find a decent supply of toilet paper. Even if you are a minimalist to beat all minimalists, it's okay to nourish your inner crazy-bored or barely sane self a bit. If you're one of the lucky people with a steady income, buy a jigsaw puzzle (if you can find one) or pick up that cross-stitch kit to keep your brain busy. Buy a comfy chaise lounge to soak up some sun. We'd never suggest you not be frugal, but a little self-indulgence is more than okay right now.

If you are one of the lucky few living your best fabulous quarantine life while in lockdown, try to post fewer pics of that while overusing the hashtag #blessed. Many — many — people are struggling like crazy right now. They know other people have it worse. They know it's possible to thrive while hunkering down. They're just not able to make it happen every single day, and they might be thriving in 10-minute increments. It's genuinely wonderful that some folks are loving sheltering in place — but it's also okay to keep that on the DL for now.